


I See You

by bellxrke_trash



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bellarke, F/M, Post-413, Post-Season/Series 04 Finale, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 01:37:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11795745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellxrke_trash/pseuds/bellxrke_trash
Summary: **SEASON 4 SPOILERS**Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake have a deep friendship. There is love between them, but both are too preoccupied with survival to focus on romance. When the two are separated after Praimfaya, Clarke attempts to contact the group in space via radio. But will it work? What will 2199 days of separation do to their relationship?





	I See You

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea to write a hiatus one-shot from tumblr! I really like the idea of dabbling with what Clarke might have said to Bellamy on the radio all these years.
> 
> Here's my take. Enjoy.

**Day 365**

Today marked one year since their arrival on the ark, but no one was celebrating. Harper and Monty were just finishing their break, chatting in the vast dining hall, which remained eerily empty these days. Raven, as usual, was working on getting the communications system running. Echo, Emori and Murphy hovered over her, fetching whatever she needed.

"I'm close." Raven said, taking a step back from the control panel in front of her and wiping her forehead. "I can feel it."

Echo frowned. "You said that yesterday."

"Well now I mean it!" Raven exclaimed, clearly frustrated.

"Sorry." Echo mumbled, shaking her head. "I just need to know if Azgeda survived in that bunker." She paused and everyone was staring at her. "And everyone else, of course."

Raven sighed and got back to work just as Monty and Harper strolled in. "We all want to know if the people in the bunker survived." Monty added, joining the group of people around her.

"And Clarke." Bellamy added from the doorway, on the opposite side of the room.

Murphy and Monty looked at each other knowingly. The rest of them had come to terms with what they'd done. They left her behind and she died saving them. No one could have survived the death wave on the ground. They all knew it.

Except Bellamy. He walked in and Raven stopped what she was doing and looked up at him, giving him a sad smile. "Yes, of course. And Clarke."

Bellamy nodded and observed what Raven was doing, slightly removed from the rest of the group. He had been doing better these days; he started eating normally again, he was getting more sleep, becoming more energetic - but that ended today.

"It's only been a year." He said, looking at them disappointedly. "Let's not forget about her yet, guys."

They all nodded, ashamed, and Raven spoke up. "We haven't, Bellamy. I promise."

He pursed his lips and nodded. She smiled at him sadly again, then looked to the mess of wires and switches in front of her. Her eyes lit up suddenly, and she smiled.

"I know how to fix it!"

Everyone exchanged hopeful glances but no one said anything. They've been together long enough to know not to bother Raven when she had a brilliant idea.

Bellamy took a few steps closer to her, intrigued, but not as hopeful. He knew nothing would come of this. She would tweak something here or there, but all they would hear would be static.

But instead of rolling up her sleeves, Raven disconnected the microphone.

They all strained their ears to listen, hearing nothing but static, just as Bellamy predicted. But then, much more than static.

_"But then I went outside! Bellamy, it's incredible! I'm standing in possibly the only spot of green left on earth! It's a wasteland, I know that, but not here. It's fine here. Almost beautiful, even."_

Bellamy froze. He recognized the voice. It was Clarke. His mouth gaped as he stood there, hearing her voice. She sounded just like he remembered, only happier. The sense impending doom was no longer weaving itself through her tone.

 _She sounds incredible_. He thought, but said nothing.

He flicked the ON button on the microphone. "Clarke?? Clarke, oh my God."

_"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I made it back, in case you were worrying about me. I don't know why you would be... I don't even know if you can hear me, but I like to think that maybe you can."_

Bellamy's heart broke in two. "Raven, _fix it_!" He exclaimed, plugging the microphone back in. But then Clarke's voice stopped and there was silence.

Raven frantically lunged for the microphone and disconnected it again.

Static. Then Clarke: _"I mean I hope you can. You're probably wondering how I still have hope. It's because I'm still breathing. I understand that know. I didn't before because I thought we were going to die, I really did, I have to admit. But I'm alive, Bellamy. And so as long as I'm alive, I have to believe that all of you are, too."_

He had tears rolling down his cheeks. Bellamy squeezed his eyes shut, aware that everyone was watching him.

Emori laughed in disbelief and Harper and Monty embraced. Murphy shot Raven a look of shock, while Raven just smiled.

"She's alive." Raven whispered as a tear rolled down her own cheek. She looked at Bellamy, "You knew it the whole time. How?"

Bellamy ran his fingers through his hair and chuckled. "She's too stubborn to die." He replied, wiping his tears. "She _had_ to be alive..."

***

They left him alone now, listening to her voice coming through the radio.

Raven explained that for some reason, the microphone's signals were interfering with the receiver's. Something was wrong with the wiring, and it seemed the receiver would only work if the microphone was disconnected.

They were always just missing each other. One step behind the universe.

 _"But I'm scared, Bellamy. I'm scared that I'm never going to see my friends again. I'm scared that I'm going to die before you guys get here."_ She paused and Bellamy cringed, running his hands through his hair, feeling her pain. _"I'm scared of never seeing you again. Bellamy, I'm not sure exactly what I'm feeling, but I know that I can't lose you."_

This surprised him. He looked up in confusion, tearing his eyes from the radio. His eyebrows furrowed and his lips parted slightly. He closed his eyes and listened intently.

_"I don't know how to explain this. I tried last week, remember? It's like we were never together, and I know that, but I feel like I lost you. Even though I never really had you..."_

He slammed his fist on the table. Because she _did_ have him. She's had him for so long that it hurt. She had him from the second she tried to stop him from opening the drop ship door.

He knew that now.

 _"I don't know Bellamy. I miss Raven, I miss Murphy. Monty, Harper, Emori. Even Echo. But with you..."_ She trailed off and he gripped the radio, willing her to continue. Instead, she sighed. _"I'm just not sure. I'm tired though, Bellamy. It's been a long day. I'm going to sign off for now."_

"No. No please, Clarke -"

_"Have a good night, Bellamy. Or whenever it is up there. Are you guys orbiting the earth? Are you staying anchored? Do you have a sunrise? I wish I knew... Anyways, you have a good night."_

Static.

***

**Day 400**

He awoke with a start, someone was shaking him.

"Sorry, Bellamy." It was Monty. "She's on."

Bellamy nodded and sprung out of bed in the direction of the Com room. He nodded at Raven as he entered and she smiled at him, backing away from the radio. Bellamy took a seat.

" _I found some books, Bellamy. They were in a supply depot, hidden in some safe. That was a good idea, whoever had it. I should have preserved some stuff..."_ she trailed off. _"But anyways, they had some mythology! I know you love that stuff. So I read some for you."_

Bellamy smiled at this as she continued; _"And I got it. You're Atlas, Bellamy. Brother of Prometheus..._ " He smiled, remembering his conversation with Octavia over the radio on the day of Praimfaya. Of course, there's no way Clarke could have known that. She continued: _"You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, Bellamy. I know you do. I hope you've let some of that go..."_ He could hear her voice crack. _"And now you're rightfully up there with those same stars Atlas used to make his celestial globe."_

He admired her so much, and this helped him realize it. A tear spilled, but he wiped it away quickly.

She just sighed. _"So now when I look at the stars, I think of you. Kind of cliche, huh?"_ She made him laugh sadly. _"I haven't found who I am yet. Guess I'll just have to do some more reading."_

"Athena." He whispered. _Yes. Strong, wise, will fight you if you piss her off. Athena._

"I do like Athena, though." Clarke reflected. "She's pretty badass."

 _Yes she is._ He thought.

***

**Day 512**

_"I couldn't remember."_ She whispered, and it broke his heart. _"I tried, Bellamy. I have so many drawings of you..."_ she paused as if to observe them all. _"But today I picked up my pencil, and I drew a blank."_

It killed him to think that she could be forgetting him. He rested his head on the radio. "I'm right here. Please don't forget me."

He could hear her sigh on the other side. " _Of course I could never forget you. I probably have a dozen portraits of you sitting right here beside me. I was reminded as soon as I saw your freckles and wavy hair that I didn't actually forget. I couldn't forget. You're etched in my memory, Bellamy Blake."_ She laughed. _"I never could seem to get rid of you."_

He laughed with her.

***

**Day 730**

_"Bellamy, its been two years. I don't know if I can do this."_

He was pacing around the room. He screamed into the radio. "You can! _You can, please_. You can."

 _"I just wish I could feel something, anything else. I just feel so alone, Bellamy. So..."_ A beat.  _"I don't know."_

He knocked over the small table beside him that contained his dinner that had been sitting there for hours.

He wasn't hungry anyways.

"I'm right here." He whispered. "I'm right here!" He kicked the plastic cup half-full of water.

 _"If you're listening - and I'm not so sure you are, anymore - I need to tell you something."_ Bellamy's eyes went wide and he sat down in his chair, silently urging her to continue. She took a deep breath. _"I;m starting to realize understand my feelings for you."_ He leaned in closer.

Static.

Confused, he tapped the machine lightly.

The static got louder.

"No. No no no no." He muttered, getting up off of his chair, enraged now. "No!" He screamed, flipping the entire table, radio and all.

"Oh my God." He whispered, instantly regretting his lack of control.

He sunk to the ground, kneeling beside the radio.

Raven ran into the room, still half-asleep. _"Bellamy, what the hell?"_

She took in the scene in front of her.

Bellamy was sobbing. "Why did it stop working?"

Raven ran over to the window across the room and nodded in understanding. "There's a huge storm system right over her." She said. "Come see."

Bellamy got up and appeared at the window beside her. "I broke the radio." He admitted. "I lost my temper. _I lost her._ That's on me."

She gave him a sad smile, seeing the emptiness in his eyes.

They stood in silence. She looked back over at him and the tears still stained his cheeks.

"I'm sorry." She said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "What can I do?"

He looked over at her "Just make me feel something else."

She thought for a moment, then kissed him.

He pulled away.

"Did that help?" She asked.

He stood still for a moment, then shook his head. "No." He replied, then walked out of the room.

She shrugged and picked up the radio. She knew she could fix it. She could focus on that, now.

She wasn't stupid enough to fall for Bellamy. She knew he was unavailable, and they were great friends. She only did it to try to make him feel better, as he had done for her in the past. She knew not to get too attached. She was too good to come in second place to Clarke - _again_. Raven deserved someone who would put her first. She knew that.

She sighed and got to work fixing the radio, not being able to go back to sleep.

***

**Day 760**

It took her a month to fix the radio. To find the spare parts, to get it to work again. Bellamy did some good damage.

For the first time in a month, Bellamy sat at his chair again, waiting for Clarke to radio in.

How he went a year without hearing from her, he had no idea. A month was torture.

When she spoke, her voice was raspy. He noticed that right away. Then he noticed her sniffles. Then her coughs.

 _"I know what you're thinking... I'm thinking the same thing."_ She laughed. _"Wanheda: Commander of Death, Survivor of Praimfaya--"_ she coughed. _"Brought down by the flu."_

He laughed, but it was pained. He felt so sorry for her. What Bellamy would give to take care of her in that moment.

His thoughts wandered, remembering some of their first days on Earth when everyone got a hemorrhagic fever.

_You got enough food in there? Water?_

_Yeah. Some medicine might be nice._

_I'll see what I can do._

A sad smile graced his face.

 _"And I know you. I know you would want to help me but right now, for the first time since you left, I'm glad I'm alone."_ Her words hurt him. Unintentionally, of course. But they were true. _He_ left _her_. Rather than the other way around. _F_ _or once_.

She seemed to catch herself. _"Not that I blame you, Bellamy. Don't get me wrong. You had to do that."_ He listened closely. _"Bellamy as much as it hurts... I'm so glad you left. Because at least you're alive. Choosing to stay here would have meant choosing death. And I'm so glad you didn't. I said it once and I'll say it again. I need you, Bellamy..."_ She trailed off. _"I really hope you can hear me. Loud and clear, okay?"_ She coughed. _"This is not your fault. I forgive you."_

Then she coughed again. And again.

Then static.

***

**Day 974**

_"And that's exactly why I have to go back there. I can't just sit here not knowing if my mom survived. If Octavia survived. All of them... I need to know. I can't accept that they're buried under the rubble and will come up when they can. Someone's going to have to dig them out eventually. You guys can help me when you come down, but I can get a little head start, right?"_

She paused and Bellamy smiled slightly while he listened. She was so strong to have survived almost 3 years by herself. There's no way he could have done that. She was better than him.

 _"You're better than me, Bellamy."_ She sighed and he frowned. _"You would have had all of the rubble gone by now. If you were here, you'd have built a whole village for when they get out of there."_

He shook his head. "No, I wouldn't have. You can, though. You will."

 _"I mean look at you, you're even giving me hope from beyond our atmosphere."_ She laughed a little and so did he. _"So I'm going away for a few days. I'm going to make you proud, Bellamy, I will. I'll take turns with you. I'm gonna try holding the heavens on my shoulders for a day, see how that works for me."_

He smiled just a little bit, knowing she had done that since Day One.

***

**Day 1168**

_"I'm going to put Madi on now. You know, the Natbleeda I found? I've been taking about you... About all of you. I'm pretty sure she thinks I made Raven up." She made Bellamy laugh. "But she can't wait to meet you. I've been asking her for weeks if she wanted to talk to you and she didn't. Not until she could speak English proficiently again. She lost it a little over the past couple of years, having no one to talk to. But she's got it back now. Here, one second."_

Silence. Bellamy waited, barely containing his excitement to meet Clarke's little nightblood.

 _"Hi Bellamy, it's Madi."_   She sounded about 9 or 10 years old. _"Clarke has told me a lot about you. I can't believe you joined the 100 on purpose to look after your sister! I'm guessing you're brave. Well, actually Clarke has told me you are brave."_

He could hear Clarke protest in the background; _"Madi-"_

 _"Sorry."_ She apologized. Bellamy chuckled. _"Let's just say I know a lot about you. I hope to meet you someday, to see for myself the guy that Clarke won't shut up about-"_

 _"Madi."_ Clarke warned, more sternly this time. Which made Bellamy laugh even more.

 _"Anyway,"_ Madi continued. _"I have to go. Clarke is teaching me how to use the rifle today. Until next time, Bellamy."_

Static. Feeling mixed emotions, Bellamy leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes, trying to picture what the little girl looked like.

He pictured a smaller version of Clarke, dirty blonde hair, but with brown eyes and freckles. Her skin was a bit tanned, maybe.

He stopped suddenly and leaped off the chair, realizing what his subconscious was doing.

He walked away quickly after that, not returning for the rest of the day.

***

**Day 1460**

 

 _"One more year, Bellamy."_ She said. He could hear her voice crack and could feel his own tears brimming. _"I miss you so much..."_

He closed his eyes tightly and put his head in his hands. He wasn't sure how much longer he could do this. It was killing him not to be able to answer her. So many words left unsaid.

 _I miss you too_. He thought.

 _"I need you, Bellamy."_ She said and sighed. The radio went silent. No static. Just silence.

It stayed way for awhile, Bellamy with his head in his hands, Clarke clasping her radio tightly, knowing what she needed to say but too afraid to do it.

Finally: _"I love you, Bellamy."_

He dropped his hands and looked at the radio. The only people who have ever said that to him were out of his reach. Octavia was under the ground. His mother was floating in space, and now Clarke was on land.

Everyone he loved was so far away from him.

It hit him then.

 _He loved her_. He loved Clarke. He knew it now, although he couldn't tell her. He sat back and listened, letting her say the words that he couldn't:

" _I realized it today, but I think I've known deep down all along, Bellamy. Remember when we took the day trip?"_ He smiled, despite himself, remembering her telling him that she needed him as they were leaning against the tree. " _Then Unity Day, then the whole exodus ship situation?"_   He frowned at the memory of Clarke sinking to the ground when she thought her mother had been on the ship that crash-landed. _"You saved my life on the bridge that day with Anya's people, and every day after that. You saved my life by not letting me pull the lever at Mount Weather by myself. You saved my life when you found me with Roan."_   She laughed. _"Well not really, but you tried."_   Bellamy smiled sadly.

She continued: _"You always had my back. You protected me from ALIE, you put me on the list... You wanted me to survive with you in Arkadia. Then when the Azgeda warriors went rogue with the fuel, I don't know, Bellamy..."_

He clasped his hand onto the radio, wishing he could see her now more than ever. Wishing he could embrace her and tell her he feels the same way. She saved him. She's saving him now. She's saved him every day.

 _"You're saving me now."_ She seemed to know what he was thinking, _"I thought about why I talk to you every day. I love Raven, Monty, the others. But why you? I realized it's because Lexa was right. She saw it all along. I care for them, but I care for you more. I love you for saving me. For being there for me. If you're out there, I'm sorry that I couldn't say this in person. Not even when the world was ending. I just... I needed to say it. Even if you can't hear me."_

He rested his head on the radio. "I love you. So much, you have no idea. I'm here. I've been here the whole time, can't you see? Clarke..." he trailed off, realizing she couldn't hear him. He banged his fist on the table, then stopped himself from angering further, recalling what happened last time.

 _"One more year, Bellamy."_ She repeated. This time her voice heavy, as if the confession had not lifted any kind of weight from her shoulders at all. She sighed. _"Goodnight."_

Static.

***

**Day 1699**

_"I taught Madi some ancient history, Bellamy."_ He smiled. " _You'd probably correct me every five seconds, but I taught her about the gods on Mount Olympus. About the heroes who saved villages and the artists, the intellects, and the poets..."_ He was beaming now, hearing her talk about something he had a passion for. _"Which reminds me... Homer. I read her The Iliad and The Odyssey. I know that Gina got it for you, but when I found it buried in the rubble in Arkadia... I had to. I knew it was a sign. I didn't think you would mind."_

 _I don't._ He thought.

" _She likes the Iliad better. The Trojan war, with the action and all. Personally, I'm a fan of The Odyssey, even though pretty much no one else is. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending... sort of."_

Bellamy smiled. He knew she would be.

_"I found some books on other civilizations, too. The Persians, the Ancient Egyptians, the Zhou dynasty, the Incas, the Mayans... maybe I can teach you a thing or two when you get down here."_

He smiled. He would like that very much.

" _Anyways, I have to go. Time for our lesson. Stay safe, Bellamy."_

 _I love you, too_. He thought.

***  

**Day 1829**

_"Four days, Bellamy."_ She said, shaking her head. _"It's been safe for four days. You can come down now!"_   She sounded distressed. _"You can come down!"_ The radio went silent. _"Bellamy, please come down."_ And then she cried. She had kept it in for so long, staying strong for Madi, staying strong when she was on the radio every other time with Bellamy. She let it out now.

But he couldn't hear her. Not this time. He fell asleep in his chair. He could call it that now. _His chair_. He spent all his time there, after all.

 _"May we meet again."_ She breathed, then static.

***

  
**Day 2006**

He had a hard time getting out of bed that day. He knew the earth was survivable and it had been for almost a year. Raven was unable to get the microphone to work completely and as a result he'd thrown it across the room over a month ago, shattering it in his frustration.

He was also frustrated that he couldn't go down to Earth. Not yet. They didn't have the ship ready yet. It would be at least another 5 or 6 months. So he had to stay up here and wait. That's all he seemed to be doing lately - waiting.

After staring at the ceiling for hours, he finally got out of bed.

He'd been staying in his childhood room for the past couple months, ever since they opened that section up. He sighed and walked over to the loose tile on the floor. He sat down beside it and rested his hand there. 16 years. His sister hid under the floor every day for 16 years. He laughed at the irony of her trapped in a bunker for the past 5.

 _"That's not really ironic"_ He could hear Clarke saying in his head. " _It's exactly what you'd expect. It's the opposite of irony."_

"Actually, since she went down to earth where she was supposed to be freed of her confinement, only to be locked up underground again in a bunker, it's still irony."

He realized he was arguing with someone who wasn't actually there and smiled sadly.

_Clarke._

He got up quickly and walked to the Sky Box. He seemed to be doing that more and more these days. Ever since he found Clarke's cell, he thought it was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

He sat in the middle of her floor, as he'd done so often. He sat there for about ten minutes, just looking at her drawings. There was a knock on the door.

"Bellamy?" It was Echo. "I thought I'd find you here. Clarke is on. I think you need to hear this."

Bellamy stumbled to his feet and nodded in thanks. They walked to the Com room together.

_"I don't know what's happening, Bellamy."_

Bellamy looked frantically at Murphy. "What's going on? What is she talking about?"

Murphy shook his head. "I don't know, she sounds like she's in trouble."

Bellamy listened: _"Madi and I went out searching for nuts and berries... I ate the same ones she did, Bellamy! I ate them first on purpose and they were fine! But she's so sick. She's throwing up, she never gets out of bed..."_ Clarke sighed, troubled. _"She's strong, I know. I know she'll get through it. I just wish I could help her..."_

Bellamy's heart ached for her as he sat in his chair.

 _"Remember when Murphy escaped from the grounder and gave everyone hemorrhagic fever?"_  

He looked over at Murphy. He definitely remembered that.

 _"It's kind of like that, just not with blood. You asked me if I was okay after that. And I was, I was feeling better. But I'm not now. The longer the earth is survivable and you guys don't come down, the more I worry. I've been doing a lot of that, lately."_   He could feel her distress, but he couldn't help her. It was a common theme.

 _"I'm going to go get Madi some water. I'll talk to you later, Bellamy."_ A beat. She seemed to be considering her next words. Then, softly: _"I love you."_

Bellamy looked up, suddenly aware of everyone in the room. But then he sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. "I love you, too."

He didn't have to worry about their gazes, because they all knew. They already knew.

***

**Day 2199**

_"Bellamy. It's been 2199 days since Praimfaya. I don't know why I still do this every day. Maybe it's my way of staying sane. Of not forgetting who I am."_ She paused. " _Who I was."_ She sighed. _"It's been safe for you to come down for over a year now. Why haven't you? The bunker's gone silent, too. We tried digging them out, as you know, but there was too much rubble. I haven't made contact with them."_

She pondered her next words carefully, coming to a realization. _"I still have hope, I think. Just tell Raven to aim for the one spot of green and you'll find me. The rest of the planet, from what I've seen, basically sucks."_

Just then, a loud boom. She whipped her head around and saw a ship descending right before her eyes. She gasped, smiling. She slowly raised the walkie to her lips. _"Nevermind. I see you."_

Static.

Bellamy turned to Raven. "What is she talking about?"

She looked concerned. She shrugged her shoulders, speechless.

Bellamy reached for the microphone. "Clarke, that's not us. I repeat, _not us!_ " He remembered that he destroyed it and sighed.

She couldn't hear him. And he was stuck, glued in his chair, as he had been for the past 4 hours. He got up now and stood at the window, watching helplessly as an unknown ship made its way to the little spot of green.

_Clarke's little spot of green._

He clenched his fists.

"We need to get down there." He said, searching their faces. He locked eyes with Raven and she nodded. The ship was ready. She would have liked a few more days, but her friend was in trouble.

Bellamy looked down at the green patch, the prisoner ship no longer visible. He put his hand against the glass, his eyebrows furrowed with worry.

"I'm coming, Princess."

 

***

**Day 2203**

After a harsh landing, they had arrived on the ground. The patch of green seemed minuscule from space, but it had been 4 days and still no sign of Clarke or the unknown ship that had descended days before.

He woke up earlier than the others that morning, as he had since they landed, and left his tent. He set out for the forest, going to explore what was officially the last sector of the green patch. After that, he had no idea where to start looking.

Lost in thought, he narrowly swerved to dodge a tree. He gave himself a half-smile, knowing it wasn't the first time he'd done that.

But the light moment didn't last long. He swore he could hear footsteps. He was out of practice, but he was sure. The crunch of the shriveled autumn leaves under another's boots was an unmistakable sound.

He was even more sure when he heard the rifle cock behind him.

"Stop."

He froze in his tracks and closed his eyes. This couldn't be happening. He was so close to Clarke, so close to getting her back, and it was all going to come crashing down in this moment. It would all be for nothing.

"Hands where I can see them."

But it wouldn't come crashing down. It wasn't all for nothing. In disbelief, he started to turn around. A warning shot was fired at the dirt beside him.

"I said  _stop_."

He grinned and squeezed his eyes shut, allowing a single tear to drop. Then he chuckled: "Since when do I take orders you?"

He heard the thud of the rifle almost immediately after that and looked over his shoulder at her. He saw her standing there, mouth wide open. She cupped her hands over it, and the tears fell.

He ran to her and she willed herself to move but she couldn't. When she tried, she fell to her knees. When he reached her, he knelt down in front of her. She brought her hands from her face to touch his and swept her thumb over his freckles. "It's really you." She said breathlessly. "You  _actually_ came back." But her hands lingered on his cheeks, as if she still didn't believe it. It couldn't be him.

He took her hands in his own. "Of course I did." He smiled warmly and Clarke squeezed her eyes shut, allowing another tear to fall. She was starting to think she'd never see that smile ever again.

"I heard you, Clarke. Every day for five years I heard you. I heard you read mythology, I heard you get sick, I heard you find Madi, I heard..." he paused. " _Everything_."

"Oh God." She laughed, letting her forehead fall to his chest, concealing the colour that rushed to her cheeks. "Everything, huh?"

He pressed his thumb to her chin and lifted it so he could look into her eyes.

How he'd missed them.

"Clarke, you were 18 when we landed. You bore it all, since Day One, so your people didn't have to. Isn't that what you said to me, when you left after Mount Weather?"

"I'm so sorry-"

"No, I forgive you. You're forgiven. This isn't about that. Clarke, you said I was better than you.  _I'm not_. I never was. I started as a kid on the Ark who had no friends and read mythology for fun. I turned out to be a janitor and could only dream of one day becoming a guard. You were on track to become a Doctor, Clarke. You were destined for greatness. You weren't even 18 when you got sent to the Sky Box for fighting for what you believed in."

"Bellamy-"

"No. I've been thinking about how I'm going to say this for 2203 days. Maybe even longer. I can't wait another second without telling you this while I still have the courage." She nodded and looked up at him with anticipation.

"I am  _not_  better than you. Do you hear me? I'm not. You're the one that's held the world on your shoulders since this all started. Getting sent to Earth was the best thing that ever happened to me. It gave me a second chance at life. It should have been the worst thing to happen to you. It disrupted the perfect path you set for yourself. But somehow, you did it. You persevered. You became a leader." He paused, considering how to tell her. How to really let her know how this made him feel.

He brushed a lock of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear and sighed. His voice softer, now; "I am so lucky to have walked on this planet at the same time as you, Clarke Griffin." He matched her confession on the radio, let her know that he feels the exact same way. She deserved to know. "You keep me centered.  _I'm the lucky one_."

She continued to look up at him and her eyes glistened. He missed that so much.

" _You_  saved  _me_ , Clarke. You saved me by making the hard leadership decisions, by pulling the lever with me in Mount Weather, by telling me that you needed me and that I was worth something; that I was special." He pressed his forehead to hers. "And by talking to me on the radio for 2199 days. You saved me every day, Clarke. I love you too."

She wasted no time after that and wrapped her arms around his neck, hanging on tighter than she ever had before. He laughed and did the same, his arms wrapped around her back, pulling her closer to him, though that was impossible. They stayed that way for a long time, kneeling in the forest, their arms around each other, afraid if one let go, the other would be ripped away from them yet again. She buried her head in his neck and he could feel tears dampening the collar of his shirt. He couldn't quite tell if they were her tears or his own, but he didn't care.

It was the best he'd felt in 2203 days.

**Author's Note:**

> I could never do their reunion justice, but I tried.
> 
> I can't wait to see what the writers will do with Season 5.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
